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Dear Friend:
Domestic Violence, Battering, Abuse….there are many words used to
describe what one person is willing to do to control their intimate
partner. It is a nightmare for many women. The fact that someone we
love or care about would harm us emotionally
or physically is devastating. Please know that you are not alone.
The Domestic Violence Intervention Program (DVIP) exists because
battering by an intimate partner is the single greatest cause of injury
to women. As you read the rest of this letter and consider each point,
please remember you deserve a life free of violence. NO ONE has the
right to
control, emotionally or physically abuse you!
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Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviors, including violence, that an
abuser uses to CONTROL his/her partner.
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Using violence and/or other controlling behaviors is NOT ACCEPTABLE.
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No one causes another person to abuse, no matter how they act. Abuse
is always the choice of the
abuser. Battering is not mutual and it is not a couple’s quarrel.
Disagreements happen occasionally in all relationships, but battering
invades every aspect of a relationship with fear and control.
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You are the victim of a crime. Almost any reaction is normal. Some
women come to shelter to find out if they are “sick or crazy”.
Crazy-making happens in every abusive relationship when the abuser
lies, denies, and/or minimizes the abuse and blames you for the
violence. You aren’t going crazy; you are having a normal reaction to
a crazy situation.
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Others may react in ways that seem hurtful because they do not
understand what you are going through. If you feel uncomfortable with
that person, it is OK to look for support elsewhere.
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You are a GOOD person!
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You are a SURVIVOR with strength, courage and skills that have gotten
you this far.
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This may be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. At this
time in your life, you deserve support, whether it is from friends,
family, a therapist or the DVIP shelter.
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Do the things that make you feel safer and better.
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You are not responsible for your partner’s abusive behavior!
We are here to support you
as you explore your options
and provide information as you are caring for yourself.
All direct services provided by the Domesstic Violence Intervention
Program
are free and confidential. For more information call our 24 hour
hotline:
(319)
351-1043 or
1-800-373-1043
(in Iowa only)
Protecting
Yourself
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