What is Domestic Violence?

It’s All About Power and Control...

Domestic violence affects thousands of women every year in Iowa. 

Domestic violence crisis intervention services exist because all people deserve to have relationships that are physically and emotionally fulfilling, NOT physically or emotionally abusive and controlling.  Batterers use physical violence and other abusive behaviors to get their own needs met and to control their intimate partner’s life. 

Battering is not new.  Victims of this crime have been speaking out and naming the abuse perpetrated against them for a long time.  Throughout this website, victims are primarily referred to as  women and batterers as men.  This is because at least 95% of victims are women and 98% of batterers are men.  But it is important to recognize that battering also occurs in gay and lesbian relationships, men are victims of domestic violence, and women sometimes batter in heterosexual relationships.  Regardless of gender, the pattern of behaviors that a batterer uses to gain control is always the same.

Domestic violence is about control.  Batterers use the power they have, social and/or physical, to establish control within an intimate relationship.  They use a pattern of behaviors to intimidate, manipulate and physically violate their partners. 

Battering is a choice and solely the responsibility of the batterer. Most people have a difficult time thinking of battering as a choice, and describe batterers as "losing it."  But try to remember how we all make decisions to meet our own needs.  We identify what we want and all the possible ways we can accomplish our goal.  We decide how to reach our goal based on what we believe is OK or what we are willing to do.  Battering is no different.  Women continually describe how their partners go from one tactic to another when they want something.  Some batterers will go as far as emotional abuse, isolation or intimidation.  Some will choose to control economic resources or threaten physical harm to the victim,  her children or loved ones.  Some ultimately choose violence to get what they want, and the underlying threat of physical violence affects every aspect of a relationship. 

Whatever the tactic, if you are forced to make decisions based on how your partner may hurt you physically or emotionally, your partner has behaved inappropriately; and when violence is used, they have acted criminally. Using violence and/or other controlling behaviors is not acceptable.  No one  deserves to be abused.

Abusive and Criminal Behaviors

Iowa Law and Domestic Violence

Protecting Yourself

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