Domestic
Violence
Intervention
Program

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What is Domestic Violence?
 


Domestic Violence and Youth (for caregivers)
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Feelings and thoughts from kids growing up in violent homes:

  • “I felt really sad when my parents were always fighting.”

  •  “I feel like no one cares; they’re always fighting and forget me.”

  •  “Why does this have to be happening to me and my family.”

  •  “It would be less painful if I were dead.”

  •  “I feel like I’m more evil and violent.”

  •  “Maybe if I didn’t act this way, they wouldn’t fight.”

  •  “Is this what being married is like?”

  •  “I don’t think I can ever trust a man again.”

  •  “I felt so helpless and confused, I couldn’t help.”

  •  “I feel wary of guys my age, and a little older than me.”

  •  “I feel apprehensive about telling others how I feel.”

  •  “I was so angry at everyone and everything.”

  •  “I’ll get even, I’ll run away, then maybe they’ll pay attention to me.”

  •  “I don’t ever want mom to get remarried; he’d be a jerk just like dad.”

  •  “Maybe if I make threats, Mom will listen to me, it worked for Dad.”

  •  “I hate him; I have thought about killing him, then it would be okay.”

  •  “Now everything is ruined, and I don’t know how we’re going to make it.”

  •  “I can get my own way and what I want by being violent, it worked for Dad.”

  •  “I feel ashamed of my life, no one else lives this way. Do they?”

  •  “If my friends find out about my life, they won’t like me.”

  •  “Sometimes I get angry; I can’t control myself.”

Youth want you to know . . .

  • We need you to try to support us and our feelings.

  • Please try to be patient with us and understand how we’re feeling; we’re hurting too.

  • We’re real, we aren’t invisible.

  • Try to listen to us; we need to talk about our feelings.

  •  What happens to you affects us, it is our problem too.

  • Please talk with us about violence.

  • Sometimes we don’t want to have visitation with Dad.

  • We don’t want you to stay for us if it means getting beat…

  • If we talk to Dad, we still love you.

  • We don’t want to take sides.

Women's Rural Advocacy Programs:
The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Family Violence Prevention Fund:
The Facts on Children and Domestic Violence

American Bar Association:
What is Teen Dating Violence?

Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence:
Dating Violence and Bill of Rights

Break the Cycle:
Empowering Youth to End Domestic Violence (click on "I might need help")

National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Teens, Young Adults and Dating Violence

National Women’s Health Information Center:
Date Rape Drugs

Protecting Yourself

Home

Domestic Violence Intervention Program
P.O. Box 3170
Iowa City, IA  52244
In Iowa: 1-800-373-1043
Phone: 319-351-1043     Fax: 319-466-4624
DVIP@avalon.net

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